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| Adapted from Lexi James and the Council of Girlfriends Lexi: You're late. Melissa: Very sorry. But I'm only twelve minutes late. I have another three to spare before you get huffy. Lexi: I don't get huffy. I simply believe that punctuality is important. Melissa: You're right. It is. Lexi: Okay, then. Let's get started. I invited you to my home to discuss the novel and how you wrote it. Melissa: I like what you've done with your house. I see you found another leopard print rug. And the couch is fabulous. Lexi: My mother helped me find both things. That woman knows how to get bargains. Melissa: So does my mom. But that's where the similarities between our mothers end. Lexi: Let's start there. With similarities. Readers are going to think that you and I are the same person. Melissa: We're not. Lexi: No. I'm a much better dresser. Melissa: Oh, please. You do not dress better than I do. We simply have different styles. Lexi: Right. And, um, how would you describe your style? Jersey girl chic? Melissa: Listen, I sit in front of a computer all day and talk to myself. When I have to, I can look very presentable. Also, you're taller than I am. You can wear different styles. Lexi: Yeah, you are short. Melissa: Petite. Lexi: Fine. Petite. So, I'm a taller, thinner, more stylish version of you. Melissa: Yes. But, I'm smarter than you. Lexi: I'm younger. Melissa: I'm funnier. Lexi: I'm richer. Melissa: Not for long. Lexi: Thank goodness for the book deal. Were you down to your last few shekels? Melissa: I was. When my advance check came, I had $131.71 in my checking account. Lexi: When you stopped working and moved in with your mother, did your friends think you were crazy? Melissa: I raised crazy to a new level. But my friends know that I take a lot of risks. Lexi: You couldn't have known that you would get an agent, let alone a publishing deal. Melissa: It all could've gone horribly wrong. Lexi: What would you have done if Betsy Amster hadn't taken you under her halo? Melissa: I don't know. I didn't have a Plan B. Lexi: Let's move on. What was it like to go from glamour girl to starving artist? Melissa: When was I a glamour girl? Lexi: Just go with it. Melissa: Fine. At first, it was difficult. I was very used to having disposable income. There was a time when I wouldn't have thought twice about spending fourteen dollars on a one-pound bag of baby arugula or forty-five dollars for an ounce of hair goop. Not having money made me think about what I needed, and what I didn't. My life became very simple, and there is beauty in that. Lexi: How very Zen. Melissa: Don't mock. This is a dream come true for me. Lexi: Being poverty-stricken was a dream come true? Melissa: No, dork. Having a novel published is a dream come true. Nothing comes without sacrifice, right? Lexi: Tell them about your unwilling sacrifice to the Shoe God. Melissa: It's a tragic story. While I was writing, my mom's basement was attacked by mold. All of my shoes, thirty-eight pairs, were ruined. I was left with a pair of sneakers and black flipflops. The Shoe God took away the last vestige of my old life. She stripped my last shred of vanity. Lexi: I weep for your shoes. Melissa: They died a horrible death. But did I really need thirty-eight pairs of shoes? Lexi: Yes. Melissa: No. And right after that, Miss Betsy agreed to be my agent. It was karmarific. I gave some yin and got some yang. Lexi: Your shoe sacrifice notwithstanding, I'm glad that you took the risk and wrote the novel. Otherwise, the world wouldn't know about the Council of Girlfriends. Melissa: How are the girls? Lexi: Wonderful. They send their regards. Let's talk about the COG. Are there parallels between my girlfriends and your girlfriends? Melissa: No. I know Latino food pretty well, which is why Lola is a Latina restaurateur. Lola has my ambition. My cynicism. My incomprehensible taste in men. Lexi: Is there a Jack in your life? Melissa: I've never met a man like Jack. I'd like to. Lexi: I don't think that you would be happy with someone like Jack. Melissa: Why not? Lexi: You are a lot like Jack. You need a levelheaded person to keep your feet on the ground. You're creative types. Dreamers. Melissa: Thank you. Lexi: I don't mean that as a compliment. Melissa: Oh. Lexi: Let's get back to the COG. Do you have a Gracie in your life? A relentless romantic? Melissa: At one time in my life, I was a relentless romantic. Lexi: What about Mamma Mia? Melissa: Everyone has friends who live in the suburbs with their husbands and children. Had I taken the Husband and Children exit, I would have been a lot like Mia. Lexi: The Fabulous Ellie Archer? Melissa: Had my life gone a different way, I might have ended up as Ellie. Lexi: So what you're saying is that each of the COG is a part of you. Melissa: I think every woman wonders what her life would be like if she had done this or that, married that man or taken that job. Lexi: So it's all about choices. Melissa: Amen.
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